Thinking of Giving Up Alcohol? Read My Sobriety Story

When I first tell people I’m sober, they don’t get it. They’re often confused or sometimes even a bit disappointed. They say, “Go on, just have one drink.”

I’ve become really comfortable not drinking. But I do believe my not drinking makes many other people feel uncomfortable. Drinking is so socially acceptable that it’s perfectly normal to go out and have drinks, meet up for happy hour, get together for a free flow brunch, or open a bottle of wine with family and friends at home.

Witnessing Others Change

When other people in my life decided to become sober, I definitely had my own thoughts and feelings about it. When I noticed someone struggled with alcohol, I always thought it was a good thing when they told me they were giving up. I found that some people I knew would often binge drink, maybe they had a D.U.I. or sometimes their personality changed when they began drinking and continued to drink.

But there were other times in my life when I couldn’t really understand why someone had become sober. They rarely drank alcohol and when they did drink they never lost control. Why had they chosen a life of sobriety if they had no issues with drinking? That’s what really stumped me.

Now It’s My Turn

October 2017 is when I first decided to give up alcohol for a month. So when preparing for my trip to Laos, I told my friends I wouldn’t be drinking. I wanted to see what it would feel like to stay sober for 30 days. I ended up having wine on that trip, so I guess I wasn’t quite ready to give up.

It wasn’t until about a year later that I was really ready to stop drinking. It started out as something I was just going to try for a month to see how it felt. It turns out I liked how it felt and I wanted to continue feeling that way.

So I tried two months, three months, four months, etc. I’m now two years sober and over the past 24 months, I’ve never felt like my life was lacking in anything or that I was missing out on something. There have been a few occasions when I’ve wanted a glass of wine or a cocktail. But the feeling always passes. I feel happy that I’ve chosen this path of sobriety.

Drinking Was Never a Personal Problem

Let me dive a little deeper into my relationship with alcohol and why I decided to stop drinking. If you ask my friends and family about my old drinking habits, they’ll all tell you I was never a big drinker. If I had alcohol in my apartment, I only drank when friends came over and I often ended up giving it away because I never drank it anyway. 

 Even when I went out, I’d only have one or two drinks. I was always the first to leave the party because I was happy relaxing at home. I hated being hungover the next day, missing my workout and wasting the day.

Why Would I Give Up Something I Didn't Have a Problem With?

Over the years I’ve loved people who have struggled with addiction and alcoholism. I have cried, screamed, and begged a higher power that they would become sober. I’ve lost people I love to addiction and alcoholism. I have also lost myself in others and their addiction. 

My anxiety around alcohol is very real to me. By becoming sober, I finally have more peace and serenity in my life and my relationships. 

What Have I Gained From My Sobriety?

My anxiety levels are drastically lower. I no longer put myself in situations where I’m surrounded by alcohol. Yes, I go out to dinner and friends have drinks around me. I have no problem with that. If a social gathering is mainly focused around alcohol, I’m far more comfortable not being there. And I’m so okay with that.

 I spend less money going out. Since I don’t drink, I spend no money on alcohol. That’s right, I spend zero money on drinks. Now I spend more money on my radical self-care, like buying myself flowers, getting massages, and buying fresh food.

The power to speak up. Let me explain. If I go out to eat with a group of friends and everyone is ordering drinks, I have no problem saying I’m just going to pay for my meal. At large group outings, you can easily end up spending more on alcohol than on food.  

Honoring my body. In my 30s, I really felt like I should be going out because it was what all my friends were doing. My 30s was also the first time in my life I lived alone. I was really uncomfortable being alone and loneliness often visited me.

It took a little while, but eventually I really loved being home and found that I could recharge there. Some people recharge by being around others. I recharge by being home in my space. My favorite thing is to have an early night at home with a good book or Netflix followed by an early morning workout session the next day.

Deeper friendships. When I was in my late 20s, many of my friendships involved going out to bars. My social life in my 40s looks very different to that in my 20s. It doesn’t revolve around drinking.

For many people, sobriety means a huge shift in friendships. This was not the case for me. Some people did drift away. But that really allowed for new friends to show up in my life. I have a deeper connection with my friends today and our relationships are built upon vulnerability and trust. 

Dating differently. Dating and drinks seems to go hand and hand. The two words even sound good when they roll off the tongue. My history with dating includes falling in love with an alcoholic and dating unavailable men.

I would be lying if I said there has been zero changes in dating since getting sober. Today dating involves more creativity, day dates, coffee dates, brunch dates (minus the free flow), and being way more present. I understand that not everyone will be comfortable with this. If someone is a big drinker or really uncomfortable with my sobriety then I know we won’t be a good match

Removing self-destructive behavior. Self-destructive behavior for me included everything from staying in toxic friendships and poor boundaries to dating unavailable men, working for a controlling boss, and overspending. Eliminating alcohol has allowed me to see these things in my life with not only more clarity, but with more love, compassion, forgiveness and hope.

Alanon’s 12-Step Program 

I can’t write a sobriety blog post without mentioning AA’s 12-step program. Have I ever attended a meeting? Yes, I think I was maybe 14 or 15. I went with a friend to support her and her recovery. Have I been back? No.

Let me be clear: I don’t think I have a drinking problem. If you’re struggling with uncertainty about your drinking, I encourage you to get curious about it. If you think your life will be less than what it is now or that you’ll be missing out if you give up, you may want to look deeper at your relationship with alcohol. That’s not for me to decide. I’m not here to diagnose, only to share my story.

My family has a long history of addiction and taking drinks off the table was something I needed to do for myself and my anxiety. For people struggling with recovery, there is strength and hope in working through a program one day at a time. I’m forever a grateful member of Alanon. If your life has been affected by another’s person’s drinking, Alanon is a 12-step program that can provide hope for you.

Looking To The Future

My sober life continues to surprise me with beautiful experiences and possibilities. I feel more grounded in who I am and have more awareness of behaviors that no longer serve me. There is more joy, love, and happiness in my life today.

Sometimes when we think about letting go of something in our lives, we focus on the loss or the fear of missing out. We rarely look at everything we have to gain.

If you’re thinking about giving up alcohol for a month I encourage you to dive deep and think about the reasons behind your desire to quit.

●      Why do you want to do it?

●      What are you hoping to gain from the experience?

●      Is alcohol causing problems in your life?

●      Is it causing you anxiety?

●      Do you want to give up alcohol for health reasons?

●      Are you fed up of being hungover?

●      Do you want to avoid another boozy brunch?

Whatever your reasons are, sit down and discover them. Really think about your why. If you’re struggling, try asking those around you what they think. Sometimes you’re too close to the issue to really see it for what it is.

Do you need help ditching alcohol and getting sober? Reach out to me. We can work things out together and get to the real reason you want to cut alcohol out of your life. Discussing sobriety is no easy thing. But I’ve been there, I overcame many challenges and I’m much happier today than I used to be. The best time to start is always now. So get in touch and get ready for the next chapter in your life.

Do you suffer from alcohol addiction? Or maybe you did in your past but have worked through your problems and are feeling better than ever. Whatever your experiences are with alcohol and sobriety, please leave a comment and share them. Alcohol addiction is a very sensitive subject and reading about your story might inspire someone to get the help they need.